4 Biblical Truths to Help You Finally Let Go of a Grudge
Four Truths About Forgiveness
Joseph had been deeply wounded by his brothers. Driven by disdain for their father’s favored son, they trafficked him into slavery. It is an ugly story, but one to which the Most High God was attentive. Despite the odds, and through God’s mercy, Joseph overcame his circumstances to become one of the most effective leaders in Egypt’s history.
Years later, when circumstances brought the brothers face-to-face again, Joseph held their lives in his hands. He had a choice: seek revenge or offer mercy. He chose forgiveness.
"But Joseph said to them, 'Do not fear, for am I in the place of God? As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good...'" (Genesis 50:19-20)
I may not be the brightest man, but I have a lot of "miles" on me. In racking up those miles, I’ve observed that most of us struggle to forgive because we try to find the strength within ourselves. But true forgiveness is not a human achievement; it is a divine overflow.
Forgiveness is unconditionally releasing the one who offended you from owing you anything for the offense, because you are completely satisfied with Christ and His work.
1. The forgiving person acknowledges God’s sovereignty over pain.
Joseph looked at the betrayal and abandonment of his life and understood that God was the Master Weaver. He told his brothers, “God sent me before you to preserve life” (Gen. 45:5). It takes immense spiritual maturity to see God’s hand in our hurts, trusting that He is working all things for the good of those who love Him.
2. Forgiveness and trust are not the same thing.
One is a gift; the other must be earned. Joseph’s journey suggests that while he did not withhold forgiveness, trust was a different matter. He tested his brothers to see if their hearts had grown tender (see Gen. 44).
Many stay bound in unforgiveness because they think it requires immediate reconciliation. This is a misconception. While forgiveness is instant and unconditional—modeled after Christ's grace—trust is built on the firm ground of proven character.
3. Forgiveness liberates us to love freely.
In Genesis 50:21, Joseph seeks the good of his brothers and their families. Forgiveness freed him to be generous without a sense of loss. In the original language, his promise to provide is an intensive commitment. This is the powerful byproduct of a heart that is no longer keeping a "ledger" of debts.
4. Forgiveness is an act of the will, rooted in the Gospel.
The Apostle Paul writes, "Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you"(Ephesians 4:32). Notice the standard: we forgive as we were forgiven.
Too many people try to forgive by sheer willpower, only to find the hurt remains. We must realize that Jesus is the means by which our forgiveness becomes effectual. ---
The Fountain of Forgiveness: Jesus Christ
Joseph’s story is a beautiful shadow, but Jesus is the substance. On our own, we lack the "currency" to pay off the debts others owe us. We are often too wounded, too angry, or too exhausted.
Our forgiveness of others is only possible because of the finished work of Christ. On the cross, Jesus took the full weight of every sin—those we have committed and those committed against us. Because His sacrifice fully satisfied God’s justice, we are no longer required to be the judge or the punisher.
When we look at the cross, we see that the ultimate "debt" has been paid. We can forgive because Jesus has already paid for that person's sin with His own blood. We aren't saying the hurt didn't matter; we are saying that Christ is enough.
A Moment of Reflection
Stop right now and consider: To whom must you offer forgiveness? Do not look for the strength within yourself. Look to the Cross. Talk to God about this person and ask Him to help you release them, resting in the fact that Jesus has already settled the accounts. It is in Him that you will find the power to let go—and in that letting go, you will finally be free.
