Two Vital Thoughts on a Life-Giving Marriage


Recently, a friend of mine who is on the verge of getting married sent me a Facebook message and asked me a wonderful question: If you could give one piece (or more) of advice on a successful, Christ-centered marriage what would that be? Thank you for the help!

It didn’t take but a minute or so for me to know what I needed to say—words that have been confirmed time and again throughout many years of walking alongside couples, and in my very own marriage with Christa. Here was my response:

What an awesome question. I actually have two answers that immediately come to my mind. First, you humble yourself before Jesus’ leadership every moment of every day. Yielding to him softens your soul, keeps you focused on your eternal purpose as a man, allows you to tap into his wisdom and grace, and enables you to keep the cup of your soul full of the clean water you can give to others, including her. Secondly, in a word—tenderness. Be for her the Tender Warrior that she deserves. My impression of her is that she is a strong, special woman (you do have a real gem in her!). Regardless of her strengths and general constitution—strong or soft, or whatever, being tender with her, patient, slow to anger, a good listener, welcoming her emotions as important no matter what they are—serious tenderness toward her at all times, proves life-giving to her and is safe for her, and is a tremendous role model to boys and/or girls that God would give you down the road. You’ll NEVER regret responding to her with a tender spirit.


But trust me, when you don’t do that, you’ll know it, and you’ll regret it—always. I speak from experience.