Just before his wedding day a friend sent me a message asking about having a life-giving marriage:
If you could give one piece (or more) of advice on a successful, Christ-centered marriage what would that be? Thank you for the help!
It didn’t take but a moment to know what I needed to say—words confirmed time and again throughout many years of walking alongside couples and in over three decades with Miss Christa. Here was my response:
What an awesome question! I have two answers that immediately come to my mind. First, you humble yourself before Jesus’ leadership every moment of every day. Yielding to him softens your soul and keeps you focused on your eternal purpose as a man. It allows you to tap into his wisdom and grace and enables you to keep the cup of your soul full of clean water you can give to others, including her.
Secondly, in a word: tenderness. Be for her the tender warrior she deserves. She is a strong, special woman (you do have a real gem in her!). Regardless of her strengths and general constitution—strong or soft, or whatever, being tender with her, patient, slow to anger, a good listener, welcoming her emotions as important no matter what they are, is absolutely essential. Serious tenderness toward her at all times proves life-giving to her and is safe for her, and is a tremendous role model to any kids God would give you down the road. You’ll NEVER regret responding to her with a tender spirit.
Ever.
But, trust me, when you don’t do that you’ll know it, and you’ll regret it every time. I speak from experience.